Strange things that I didn't even notice bother me

I hate hate HATE
it when my legs are crossed
and people can see my socks.
What if one of them is a funny
color, or it doesn't match the other?
And I will despise you
if you wrinkle my newly made bed
by sitting on it. Please fix it
if you are going to mess it up.
I hate it when my t-shirt
is just barely too short and it
makes my torso look stunted.
It makes me look like a retard, that is what it does.
I get embarrassed for you
if you don't understand what I am talking about
because I use complex words.
But I wish I didn't have to make myself stupid
to be comprehended.
I think those germ-o-phobic people
are ridiculous.
Humans have been around for ten thousand years.
The germs are not going to kill you.
Not yet.
I guess I am pretty hypocritical
since I am sure everyone else
has bothersome issues
that they too could list.
Oh well.
Hypocrits bother me.

Fanatically.
Fragile.
Fanatically fragile.
Afraid to move.
Afraid to breathe.
Afraid to see the words.
Afraid to be the same.
Afraid to be different.
Who?
What?
When?
Where?
Why?
Too many rules
Too much logic
Too little breath
Too easy. Too hard.
Don't want to use and.
Don't want to know this.
Don't want to hear you.
Repetition.
Enough.
Again.

Free-Verse

Again she sits there contemplating her life.
Again she is organizing her life to try and get it under control.
Again she plugs herself into the iPod to keep the distractions in.
Again she wakes up late.
Again she makes it to school on time.
Again she somehow manages to get everything done.
Again she looks forward to another six hours of 'slacking off' and pushing carts uphill.
Again she drinks another Diet Mountain Dew.
Again she goes to the gym to look shapely in Hawaii.
Again she goes to the tanning salon so the palm tree on her stomach can grow a little paler.
Again she picks up another of her million notebooks.
Again a tear slips out while she is writing.
Again she is foreign to herself.
Again she is afraid.
Again it is her and God flying solo.
Again.

A Sonnet

"Just smile for me." He asks
with that silly look on his face.
I can't-I won't take off my mask
and show you how I feel about this place.
The lights around us have grown dim
and the stars are all we see.
The moon is cradled in his rim
of silver and effervescent glee.
He takes my hands in his
his cold fingers make me shiver.
Tonight we focus on what is
and remember we never say 'don't ever'.
I don't think I'll ever be the same
now that I can't call out his name.