Lettting go

I see you again
with that look in your eyes
it's screaming come and get me one more time
but this time I'm letting it go.

I'm finally letting go,
learning to live again.
Letting you know,
I won't go back to then.

The way it was,
How it used to be,
wasn't how I saw myself,
wasn't how I should be.

I'm finally letting go,
learning to live again.
Letting you know,
I won't go back to then.

I'm finding out,
that life is short
I've gotta take this time,
And make it mine.

If this changes
how I was in your eyes,
Well, sorry baby,
but time flies.

I'm letting you go,
Learning to live without you.
I think you know,
I haven't gone back to then.

Chaos leaves me hanging
and I am standing here
standing here waiting
for you to arrive.
Gotta stop trying
gotta keep going
leave it all alone
and just accept what is.
I'm trying to keep singing
trying to keep dancing
trying to keep happy
just for you.
But even if you leave me
you can't make me cry
only I have that power
and I do not relinquish it easily.

How to deal,
how to cope,
how to let it all go,
without feeling broke.

Write it all out,
cry, scream and shout,
then watch it fall,
and just decide to leave it all.

Stop trying to conform,
don't let yourself fit in,
always push the boundaries,
who said abnormal was a sin?

What does it matter if they suck?
No one's gotta understand but you,
so let them laugh and watch them point,
Just keep on living like you need too.

Break all the rules,
sometimes they need to be broken,
Then laugh as they crumble,
Authority, conformity, mass-oneness, wave goodbye!

Find who you are,
even if it shocks you,
never let it go,
cause it's what you got when everything else is gone.

Who cares if you can rhyme,
who cares if you can write?
Write cause you need to,
not for anyone else.

Let it shine,
wave it high,
tell the world,
to wave goodbye.

Normal is gone,
craziness reigns,
and guess what?
There go the stains!

Stains of fear,
stains of anger,
stains of pain,
just went down the drain.

So this is the end.
Yeah, man we're done!
I'm gonna go run away,
and have me some fun.

Redemption

Swimming in a sea of fog and
drowning in a world of tears and
my feet are so heavy,
my hands are so cold,
I hear your voice and I begin to scream.
Colors fly as I'm pulled along and
smiling softly when I'm there and
this is nonsense,
this is fake,
things are exactly what they seem.
Don't stop fighting for me and
can I ask you to do that and
I think I just did,
I think that you will,
I choose to keep living.
So this is the other side and
this is what Redemption is called and
Here we go again,
I'm starting to spin,
I reach for your hand and find it right there.
The words keep pouring and
they are new, they are different and
I think that I like this,
I think that I am okay again,
I think this is how it will stay.

When the time comes

When the time comes,
for children to be afraid
to walk out their front door...

When the time comes,
to be afraid of those younger than you,
to fear they may take your life...

When the time comes,
When the time goes,
When the time never leaves...

When they time comes,
that a nation turns their back
on the One who made them a nation...

When the time comes
for familes to be ripped apart,
children to die,
and innocent men become murderers
in order to keep the peace...

When the time comes,
When the time goes,
When the time never leaves...

Who will save you?

"I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see it's path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain."

-"Dune" by Frank Herbert

Looking for the familiar,
Searching for a friendly face
In this cold unhappy place.

All I see is different,
Everything that's new,
Searching, looking around for you.

But I don't see your face,
In this unfamiliar place.

I'm looking but not finding;
Crying, trying to see through
The looking glass in two.

Crawling through the mud,
and hoping that you're somewhere.
This tragic game called life
is not always fair.

But I don't see your face,
In this brand new place.

I'm looking but not finding;
Crying, trying to see through,
the looking glass in two.

And now we've reached the end,
let's go back to the beginning,
We've still got living
left to do.

"And I can't recall myself
How I went down.
Did I get shot,
Or shoot myself?"

-"Don't be there" by Switchfoot

Restless Dreams

Eternity spent waiting,
is like a hell
for one's mind.

You begin to question,
to search,
to ask.

"Is it worth the waiting
for a dream
that could never come true?"

Everyday
you are faced
with these restless wonderings.

It's enough to drive you mad.
But still you wait
hoping you won't be left cold.

It's almost like dying
and then being reborn
only to die again.

And so we sit here waiting
with only our fairy-tale dreams
to keep us going.

"I saw Eternity the other night,
Like a great ring of pure and endless ligt,
All calm as it was bright,
And round beneath it, Time, in hours, days years,
Driven by the spheres,
Like a vast shadow moved, in which the world
And all her train were hurled."

- "A Ring of Endless Light" By Madeleine L'Engle

would you dismiss
how I felt with a kiss
would you repeat
the way I saw you treat
my heart in the street
letting it fall
to the ground
and then
trying
to pick it up again
only to let it crash
once more
smiling and saying
"Oops, my fault, better luck next time."

Broken pictures
run through my mind
leaving fragments
all over.
I wish they
would pick up after
themselves.
They take up
so much room
when they leave
pices
of their softly colored
scribbles.
After they run screaming
through my head,
the music comes.
The one I dreamed about before
It brings beauty and flow,
Helping me to know,
That my heart is on the floor.
While it plays
He comes.
I guess it was inevitable.
He makes his way in
whether
I like it
or
not.
"This is his last chance
to save her."
But he won't.
He's too busy trying
to save himself.
It's over
wave goodbye
the end.

Sitting in my room,
Wishing you were here,
Knowing you're not coming back,
Crying as I write.

I thought I could help.
Thought I could make life better.
Make life worth living again.
I think I failed.

And now I'm stuck.
I can't do anything anymore.
Can't write, Can't sleep, Can't breathe
Without thinking of what I lost.

You twist me around.
I love you, I hate you, I want to scream.
I feel like bleeding, but I can't.
I can't write either.

I wish I could talk to you again.
Talk like we used to.
But that was then, this is now.
I'm not enough anymore.

I wish I was.
I wish I could tell you everything.
I wish you would understand.
But you won't.

Just leave me be!
Stop invading my head,
every empty moment.
Pick on someone your own size.

I know I'm a fool,
For thinking I mattered.
Thinking you would care,
If I hurt inside.

I'm not mad anymore.
Just sad.
But this is how it is.
I'll get over it.

Don't tell me I'm pretty,
If you don't mean it.
Don't touch me,
If you don't care.

Smile your pretty smile,
And go on living,
Just remember all I was,
And how you lost the girl-next-door.